St. Louis at Baltimore
As you said last week, the Rams are ugly. Ravens aren't much better. Ever try to Ram a Raven? It gets messy.

Minnesota at Chicago
Minnesota's defence is horrible, which is good, because so is Chicago's offence. But if they can go toe-to-toe with Favre, they can do the same at home against the Vikings. I've always wanted to ask... how would a Viking even sail to Minnesota?

Miami at Cleveland
Green is out, and everyone is sad - even though he's yet to win a game for the 'Fins. That's like becoming depressed when your alcoholic father runs out of booze. Things are getting uglier by the week in Florida.

Washington at Green Bay
I think last week was an anomoly for both teams. I hope I'm right. Watch for Portis to have a bad game, as the 'skins' arrival doubles the number of black people in Wisconsin.

Houston at Jacksonville
This pick scares me, but Jones-Drew has been playing well, and no one in Houston that wears two of the same shoes has done anything right in the past two weeks.

Cincinnati at Kansas City
I am still unconvinced that this team is shitty, but it's been a long time since anyone with a spear and arrow beat a freakin' tiger.

Philadelphia at NY Jets
Man, both of these teams are all over the charts. I'll give the edge to the bye-week team. If they lose, do you think the papers would allow the headline "JETS CRASH IN NYC"?

Tennessee at Tampa Bay
This pick also makes me nervous. But the Bucs have no running back. And the Titans have Vince.

Carolina at Arizona
I would feel more comfortable if Leinart was healthy, but since no Carolina quarterback is, I'll take the Cardinals.

New England at Dallas
Both undefeated. But Dallas needed a final play to beat the... Bills? Different teams, different style, different everything. I'll fall back on Billy B and the Pats.

Oakland at San Diego
Perhaps they've awoken? They'll have to, because the Raiders are leading the AFC west. ARRRRGHHHGOORORNGG! "Hey Moose! Keep it down!"

New Orleans at Seattle
Last week was ugly, but they're still a good team. And I think the Saints still get nervous playing on the coast. Too soon?

NY Giants at Atlanta
I think when, five weeks into the season, Shockey hasn't yet been arrested for a DUI or a hate crime, that's a sign that maybe things might be going well in the swamp.